Non Standard Issue: Between fear and the deep blue sea (a short story)

In the days when the vast expanse of Earth was still uncharted territory, there were two boys who dreamed of becoming explorers when they grow up. Brothers they were not, but they were bonded in their love of “dangerous adventure” – or what the then two eight-year-old called their exploits.

Galliard and Eunan’s weekends were spent roaming the nearby fields, where every unusual-looking leaf, stone, or creature was regarded with awe. If both agreed that the piece was indeed unique, a specimen was put into a jar and added to their growing collection of “exotic pieces.”

Their parents were not that happy with the growing pile of odd souvenirs, but upon the pleading of the boys, they relented with the condition that “no insect or animal, however little or harmless it may look like, can be kept if you do not want its angry mama to come looking out for you.”

The boys loved making paper boats too, and as they let them race in the alleys near their house, they enthusiastically imagined how the world beyond looked different from their town. Huge ships that can travel thousands of miles had already been invented, allowing people to travel farther and faster into the unknown seas. These intrepid few had come back with tales about the “wondrous treasures, sights, and sounds of far away lands.”

Although many people doubted these stories (with some papers even calling them as the hallucinations of lunatics), Galliard and Eunan were very fascinated and discussed at length every scrap of detail they can gather about the expeditions.

They imagined the islands they too will discover (and will be named after them), the people they will meet (how do they look like?), the nature they will see (with animals that their mamas will let them inspect), and the other numerous wonders awaiting them. They promised to each other that when they are big enough, they will buy their own ships, hire a crew, and sail to their hearts’ content.

The boys soon grew up to be handsome, intelligent, young men. Because their families were known bankers and they had inherited the skills for number-crunching as well, the two studied banking.

They were not forced by their parents, but it was the norm that time for children to continue their parents’ enterprise and help in expanding the family’s wealth and influence. Besides, people gossiped about that reckless child who was so foolish in not following his parents’ footprints even though everything had been laid for his taking.

But, even though they are studying money, the dream of sailing into the open seas never left Galliard and Eunan’s hearts. Much to the disappointment of the ladies, their spare time was spent scouring books and maps and interviewing seafarers. They also began saving money. They know that moment will come when they can finally unfurl their masts and be the captains of their journey.

The time did come – a week after their formal schooling had been completed. A very excited Galliard, carrying a newspaper, came rushing into Eunan’s room.

He breathlessly relayed to Eunan about an advertisement calling “for young, adventurous men” to invest and if they want, join an expedition into the Eastern islands. There were some other qualifications, but Galliard enthused that they fit the descriptions and their savings were more than enough to cover the investment and the costs during their travel.

However, the look in Eunan’s eyes surprised him, because mixed with the delight was an equal shade of disbelief and fear. It took a few minutes before he gained the ability to talk, after which he motioned to the piles of papers in his table. They were business documents, all about banking.

“How about these?” Eunan stammered, with a quizzical look in his eyes.

“We have discussed that already, and we agreed that although we are both the eldest in the family, our younger siblings are capable enough to handle the family business. Unlike us who prefer to count insects in a jar than count money in vaults, they are passionate about banking. Our parents will understand. They will be bewildered, but they will understand. Your father may be more skeptical, but a sincere explanation can easily mend that.

The ship will sail in a fortnight and so it is now necessary for us to begin our preparations. Will we seat here instead and chat when we can already begin doing that which we have been dreaming all along?” Galliard said.

“But what if the expedition is only a hoax?, “ Eunan asked.

“Joyful as I am of the news, I took time to validate the facts and I found them to be accurate. You remember that explorer we have been raving about last week? He will join this venture, which as you know will be his third. We are in good, reliable company.”

With twinkle in his eyes, Galliard added “And if we get lost, would it not be a greater adventure? And if heaven forbid, we die within a year, would it still not be worth more than 50 years of being enclosed in a stuffy office? Fear not my friend, because fortune favors the brave. “

The fear in Eunan’s eyes abated. “All right then, but I will need to have a conversation with my family and arrange some matters first. Can you make the initial preparations for today?"

Galliard agreed and the two went about their business.

The next day, as an enthusiastic Galliard entered again his friend’s home, Eunan was already waiting for him in the receiving room. He knew immediately that something was amiss when he saw the apologetic look in Eunan’s eyes.

“I have a feeling that what you will say will not be to my liking, my friend” Galliard said after pleasantries were exchanged.

“You have assumed correctly, Galliard. For what I will say will not only save my future but your future as well. I have discussed this what you term as opportunity to my family, and they have helped me see the foolishness of the act.

Why would we risk setting forth in an adventure that we have no means of knowing what the outcome will be? We already have our life made here. Both our family’s businesses are growing, and there are more opportunities to expand our banks. Why look for gold at the end of the rainbow, whose end we do not really know if it exists, when we have already the gold here within our reach?”

“But Eunan, it is not merely treasure we seek. If we find them, then thank God! But it is the fulfilment of our childhood dreams that we are talking about here, of being able to feel the sun, to breath the air of foreign lands. To be free! To be totally and completely alive! That will be the highest reward itself!

If you are worried about money in case our reserves run out, then we can always trade. I hear there is an abundance of spices and other unheard of produces out there. We have always been good partners, and we can eke out a good source of income while travelling the world.”

“A wise analogy – that is if we manage to even stay alive. We both knew that the elements can be harsh, that there are storms in the oceans which can create waves greater than our largest ships, and we do not know for sure if the monsters they mention are not mere figments of imaginations.

As for the natives, how are we sure they are not an uncivilized lot? I shiver the day that my family will receive a coffin with my head gone, since some barbarians have already feasted on my brains.

Or if we manage to stay alive, how are we sure that we are even going to succeed? What will other people say when we come back with our clothes tattered, our dignity stripped off because after months of sailing, what we have only managed to see is a wide expanse of seawater? Would that be considered a wise move for two young men who have managed to finish their studies at the top of their class?”

“Which may I add, we have only done to make our parents proud? Eunan, I can see your predicament. You are afraid of failure and of the sting of the rebuke of other people. But how will we know if haven’t even tried?

Forget about what people will say. If we sail on the ships and leave everything behind, they will have something to say. If we fail, they are already ready with nasty words. If we succeed, they will also find a way to ridicule our achievements.

But in truth, they are just envious that we have the courage to pursue our dreams, when they too had grand dreams in their childhood, but had let them slip away in their adulthood. That is why they are filled with bitterness and regret, and pour them out to people who are wise enough to take risks.”

Eunan just looked away.

“Within these two days, the Eunan I knew has been changed by fear. I can see you have made up your mind. But I am still giving you the chance. The ship Invictus will sail on Saturday next week, eight in the morning. I will wait for you until the last minute in the nearby mapmakers shop.”

The days quickly passed by and Galliard made true on his promise. He waited until the last minute for Eunan; but, was only met with disappointment. He did not notice that Eunan was actually there, hidden in a row of stalls – sad because his closest friend was leaving, confused if he really made the right decision, and guilty because they did not part in the best of terms.

Two years passed. News reached Eunan that the Invictus, despite its valiant name, succumbed to the depths when it met a particularly strong storm. No survivors were recorded.

Eunan mourned. But what is harder to control was the anger he felt when other people, after consoling him, said frankly that he was wise he did not go with Galliard, else he could have died too. But he controlled his feelings, reminding himself that Galliard was never the type who cared about what other people will say.

He was also deeply troubled. He felt guilty that he was not able to convince Galliard out of that foolish adventure. If he was able to present a more convincing argument, then his best friend would have still been alive. Yet, he also wondered if Galliard, like what he said in their arguments, was really able to live a lifetime in the brief time he had been at sea.

The years soon found Eunan rising to the ranks of the banking world. Their family business expanded, establishing itself as one of the top banks in the country. He received numerous acclamation and people lined up at parties to congratulate him.

But, frequently in the middle of the night, he woke up dreaming of salty air and lapping waves. Sometimes, he was with Galliard in one of their childhood expeditions, chasing frogs while they splashed on the mud. Or the wads of money on his table suddenly transformed into a school of fishes with wings, which he chased while they flew out the window. The dreams left him with a gnawing, restless feeling.

That night before the letter arrived, he had another bout with the unsettling dreams. He was breakfasting on his usual fare and absent-mindedly scanning the daily papers when the messenger came.

The man quietly entered and quickly introduced himself as Gabriel.

He related that he was an explorer and that in one of his journeys, he was able to met Galliard. Upon discovering they came from the same country, they quickly warmed to each other. Along their conversation, Gabriel had casually mentioned that his expedition will come back to their country.

When he learned of this, Galliard had immediately inquired if he can ask for a small favor.

He said he had a friend who he sorely missed and was very eager to send a letter to. However, it may still be a long time before they make the roundtrip journey. Since Gabriel was the first person he met who he would be returning home, he hoped he would be kind enough to give letters to his friend and to his family.

“I have heard of the misfortune Invictus has suffered and was even more determined to give this letter to you. Pardon me if it has been delayed, since my ship has encountered its own setbacks while coming home. I had also some personal matters to attend to so it was only now that I can give it.”

Eunan thanked him and asked if he can give something in exchange for his kindness. Gabriel declined and said he was happy just to be able to give the letter, since Galliard was very particular that the letter should reach him.

Before the messenger left, Eunan asked him one question “Tell me, are the islands of the far seas really as exotic and beautiful as they say?”

The man smiled “Aye. I am not so good with words, as to be able to express my happiness and wonder at the great sights and adventure I was fortunate in encountering. Not everything was smooth of course, but every trouble and regret was worth it. It is my personal opinion sire that a year in the seas would have been more fully lived than decades doing my usual things back home, if you may pardon me saying so.”

When the man left, Eunan braced himself and read the letter. There was Galliard’s usual handwriting, slightly tilted because of the rocking of the ship and excitement on the writer’s part.

After he finished reading the letter, Eunan became thoughtful. He left his breakfast, donned his hat and coat and proceeded to the fields near their homes. He sat there for a long time.

Five months after the letter came, Eunan, together with Gabriel, who in his words was “itching to travel again,” joined their fellow seafarers as they waived goodbye to their families.

Sorting out his affairs did take time, but Eunan was now happy to be able to do what his heart had been asking him to do. As the trumpets blared, the ship Galliard, manned by a full crew, unfurled its sails and began its journey into the open seas.

Galliard’s letter

It has been many moons since I have last seen you and it may even take a longer time before this letter reaches your hand. I hope that both the letter and you are in good condition when you make each other’s acquaintance.

I am sorry that we parted in such unpleasant terms, and upon further reflection, I am even sorrier that I did not put a sleeping potion in your drink, pack your bags and haul you off with me to sail Invictus. I would have enjoyed that and you would also be with me right now, enjoying the prize of what other people may call “recklessness,” but to me, is courage.

But, since I missed the chance to hogtie you, I figure the second best way to convince you out of your stubbornness is to tempt you into taking the same adventure.

For many days and weeks and months did we sail and see only a vast expanse of the ocean, wherein I sometimes wondered if I should have heeded your advice. Fortunately, my comrades are much experienced than I am and they dispelled whatever cobwebs of doubts that have threatened to rob me of my joy and enthusiasm.

The dry (or should I say wet?) spells of waiting for land was nonetheless made more pleasant by my frequent sightings of the creatures of the sea. I do not know if they are what other explorers call “monsters of the sea”, but I did see some pretty large fish. How large? Why if we had the chance to catch and cook them, it would take weeks before you and I, including our families, can finish them off. It would have made me happier if I can jump into the water and look at them more closely, but the captain said naye when I talked to him about my idea. I concurred but thought maybe I can meet someone in the islands who can help me get friendlier with these creatures.

At the time of my inking of this letter, we have already landed to two shores, both of them inhabited by natives who, from what I have learned from the captain, are no stranger to foreign ships. The locals are very friendly and I have even learned to speak some of their words, which made it easier for me to inquire and ask about their customs. I have already started to chronicle my travels, which I will publish as a book in the future, both to enlighten the nitwits in our country and to encourage other future travelers.

By this time, I know you want more details about what I have seen, heard, and experienced, which I might say are even richer and far more exciting than those we have read in books. But, I shall not give you that pleasure, since you have denied me the pleasure of your company.

If you want to see, hear, and experience them yourself, then you must come here with me.

Since it may be years before the Invictus comes back again, I suggest you join another expedition. I know fate will soon lead us to one another. Also, for every island we have landed on and for every men I have met, I had taken the initiative to tell them that I have a friend who might be after me, along with our next destination. That way, the chances are increased that we might find each other. I suggest that you do the same.

Once I hear that a certain Eunan is looking for me, even if it may still take time before we see each other, I would already be very happy. Very, very happy indeed.

I know you will come. I know I am speaking to the Eunan of my childhood, who had fearlessly dreamed and woven the future with me. The Eunan who did not care about what other people will say because he knows they do not understand the magic of going after one’s dreams. The Eunan who knows that a life not lived to the fullest is a meaningless existence.

We may not earn titles for being explorers. No great wealth. No acclaim and applause.

People often weigh success based on these terms, like life is a race to be run with the prize at the end. They become too attached to the prize, and would often take the shortest and most convenient path to it. It makes them afraid to take the off beaten track, even if their hearts are telling them to.

They fear that if they follow their heart, they will lose the race and the gleaming trophies. But in the end, these are just cheap mass-produced trinkets, which will just as soon crumble to dust when they die.

You and I know better my friend. Life is not a sprint. It is a personal journey to be treasured, with every step to be cherished and enjoyed. We have different paths set for us, and it is futile to compare our own paths with that of our neighbors. Each of has have our own goals, our own dreams, and it is by working on these personal ambitions that we are at our happiest.

Reaching the final end of the journey is but a bonus, because undertaking the journey is the reward itself. Surprisingly, the best parts are in the paths or routes which we are afraid to go into; but, once we scrounge up the courage, we would discover that they are indeed the most beautiful and most rewarding.

Between fear and the deep blue sea (a short story)

Dedications:

Between fear and the deep blue sea